Paul Geater See all

Russell Brand speaks at the End Austerity Now rally in Parliament Square, London. PRESS ASSOCIATION Photo. Picture date: Saturday June 20, 2015. See PA story INDUSTRY Protest. Photo credit should read: John Stillwell/PA Wire

The ‘anti-austerity’ marchers really do need a reality check

Last weekend tens of thousands of protesters marched through London calling for “an end to austerity”.

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James Marston See all

Kylie Minogue @ Newmarket

James Marston: Kylie Minogue and I took on Newmarket

Kylie wasn’t the only famous person in Suffolk last weekend.

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Lynne Mortimer on the naughty step

Lynne Mortimer: We might all benefit from the institution of a ‘naughty’ step

When George, aged two years and nine months, misbehaves and does not desist when asked, he is consigned to the thinking step, the bottom stair.

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Lynne Mortimer

Lynne Mortimer: Another G&T? Why not?

I’m sitting here with a bit belt of gin accompanied by a soupçon of slimline tonic... I earned it, writes columnist Lynne Mortimer.

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Lynne Mortimer

Lynne Mortimer: Tales of the riverbank and the curious case of rising damp

In my new state of supreme fitness, having taken part in the Long March... okay, it was an eight-mile walk... okay it was eightish miles, a small hop across a rivulet should have been a doddle.

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Up north

Lynne Mortimer: A week in the dales - by ‘eck it’s hilly up there, in’t north

I am not northist. I didn’t start it. It was them. You can buy mugs up here in Herroit country that have “ee bah gum” written on them and other Yorkshire-isms.

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Lynne

Lynne Mortimer: If a man shaves his head will he look taller or simply bald?

I’ll do it,” volunteered Tara, my hairdresser, adding: “and I’ll do eyebrows and ears,” and then, firmly: “but I don’t do noses.”

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Miss Marple

Any’ow, guv’nor, would ‘e be wanting ‘is ‘postrophes back?

One of my birthday presents (yes, I still acknowledge gifts, if not my age) was a set of four British Library crime classics, writes Lynne Mortimer.

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