Paul Geater See all

Reporter Paul Geater gets out of the Christmas spirit.

Where’s the magic of Christmas? It disappeared years ago!

I fully realise this piece elevates me to a position somewhere between Ebenezer Scrooge and The Grinch, but as the big day approaches I have to admit that the magic of Christmas has long since disappeared.

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James Marston See all

Lynne's cartoon 10.11

Why are problems exacerbated when we are hungy?

I have received a number of thought provoking press releases.

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What attracts you to a man –his soft top or his spanner?

Hello, young man, I notice you can change a tyre... will you marry me?”

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The curious incident of the ticket barrier in the afternoon

Wanted: responsible escorts to accompany middle-aged couple on weekend London adventure.

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Lynne column

We, the proud people of East Anglia, declare our statehood

With one independence referendum just about out of the way I propose another - a vote on the restoration of the ancient kingdom of the Eastern Angles as a state of the UK. Why should we proud peoples of the east be entirely subject to the dictates of a Londinium based parliament? Given the opportunity to harness our own resources such as the enormous amount of wind we have, we could pass our own federal laws, install our own patron saint – Edmund – and celebrate our own special little ways.

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Don’t worry, it’s perfectly okay not to be mellow

My friend, Dorinda, emails: “... Whatever made you think you would become mellow after the menopause? You should ask my husband what he thinks about this. Yesterday I was suffering with a migraine, something I used to get frequently but now, very rarely. Chris, in an attempt to be sympathetic, (I think) kept asking: ‘Where did that come from?’; ‘What caused it?’ and then ‘Have you taken anything for it?’ I am afraid I turned on the poor chap and nearly bit his head off. Then I noticed he had disappeared. After about a half hour when the pain killers had kicked in, I found him upstairs in the computer room and had to make a grovelling apology. ‘That’s okay’, he said. ‘I forgive you, and actually, I quite like you feisty.’ Feisty? That’s a whole new slant on grumpiness.”

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Lynne column

135 reasons not to ask if my snappiness is the menopause

As I emerge from menopause – at least I assume that’s what’s happening because I haven’t seriously threatened anyone for ages now – I look forward to a life without night sweats, panic attacks, irrational episodes and 132 other potential troubles.

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Towards less picturesque speech - an updated guide

When was the last time you had a fortnight’s holiday?

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The fall out from the unobtainable A la Carte kitchen

It is George’s birthday next week. He will be two. We are giving him a play kitchen which we chose from the many available because it has a little rail on which to hang a tea towel.

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Tim Youngman See all

Paddy Power

Tim Youngman: Paddy Power pranks are a risky bet that seem to have paid off

Over the last few years’ bookmaker Paddy Power, has made a name for itself using controversial stunts for self-promotion. It started this in 2010 when it erected the largest ever ad hoarding on Cleave Hill which conveniently faced the Cheltenham race course ready for the gold cup. Other stunts followed, from adding a jockey to the 3,000 year old Uffington White Horse to getting Arsenal’s Nicolas Bendtner to wear and display Paddy Power pants at Euro 2012. They even have a dedicated team coming up with these headed by “head of mischief”.

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