Mike Parker

Haunted by the child abuse inflicted on him by former Suffolk headteacher Derek Slade, Mike Parker is driven on by an all-consuming desire for justice. Colin Adwent reports

Derek Slade

LIFE for Mike Parker is a tortured blend of flashbacks and a burning obsession to expose what happened to him and others.

For 28 years, Mr Parker has been overwhelmed by mental images of the physical and sexual abuse he endured while a pupil at the now defunct St George’s School in Great Finborough, near Stowmarket.

His attacker was sadist and paedophile Derek Slade, the headteacher who should have been there to protect him.

Mr Parker has waived his right to the anonymity he was entitled to, in order to talk openly about his struggle to come to terms with what happened to him, and his ongoing fight to help other ex-pupils. Last September Slade, 62, was sentenced to 21 years in prison for more than 50 offences. Among his convictions were offences committed on a total of 12 former students at the school for children of military personnel.

Despite Slade’s imprisonment, the police inquiry is still going on. Another man was arrested on suspicion of sexually abusing two pupils of St George’s.

In addition, around 35 former students are currently taking civil legal action against the school’s parent company Anglemoss Ltd.

Mr Parker is the driving force behind the attempt to uncover what went on at the school - which was previously based at Wicklewood, near Wymondham, - in the late 1970s and 1980s.

For Mr Parker, the conclusion of Slade’s case did not bring the peace of mind he had prayed for. It was just the end of the beginning.

The father-of-three young children said: “I thought once I got home it would be different. Getting up the following morning I realised that in fact nothing had changed, absolutely nothing. It hadn’t changed anything. You expect to wake up, get on with life and think I can put it all behind me – it’s done. It wasn’t like that at all. There was no new dawn.

“So many people said it would all be different, but nothing changed. I was still angry and couldn’t settle.

“It didn’t seem like anyone was doing anything about people other than Slade. For about three days I turned everything off, the telephones, computers etc, and spent a lot of time on my own trying to find out who I was.

“What had occurred since December 2008 (when the Suffolk police inquiry began) had completely turned upside down what I thought was my life.

“I came home and said ‘this is not finished’. Myself, and the other two pupils who had the police intelligence briefing, couldn’t just walk away. How unfair would that have been to all the other people we had given assurances to? We just couldn’t walk away from what effectively had been a support network.

“I was in touch with somewhere in the region of 300 ex-pupils. I was shocked when I turned my computer back on. I had so many former pupils and other people contact me, including parents.”

There are times over the years when the pressure has almost been too much and thoughts of suicide have entered Mr Parker’s mind.

Asked if he ever feared for himself or his sanity, the 40-year-old replied: “Constantly. Since December 2008 (when the police inquiry began) I have had a seizure. In the first few years I went to drinking well over 100 units a week – sometimes up to a bottle of vodka a night easily - just to numb the pain and to deal with everyone else’s pain, so I could push on further the following day. There are times when I just go on a complete mental meltdown. I am trying to stay away from medication. I don’t want to be in a state where I become catatonic on prescription drugs.”

Mr Parker said when the parents of other former pupils heard about Slade’s conviction they suddenly realised why their sons’ personalities had changed so dramatically after their time at St George’s.

“It was the same story every time. Their sons had gone off to this school as perfectly happy little boys with promises of an education second-to-none, and within a year, two years, three years, their children had come home and the parents didn’t recognise them. They couldn’t figure out what had gone wrong.”

Although the pressure was released to an extent after Slade’s trial, Mr Parker’s obsession has continued.

He said: “The last year has been a lot calmer and more focussed than the year or so previously. Now it is a focus on getting answers and those responsible being brought to book.

“I have had to keep my emotions to myself. I have become the sounding board for so many lads and parents that my emotions are kept inside. Eighteen to 20-hour days are nothing. They have become second nature. At times I go to speak to a professional if I can get hold of one, so I can talk about how I feel with these lads.

“I do see it as part of my job with the other lads to focus on their grief, their anger.”

Mr Parker, who lives in the north-east, said that three years after going to police he still struggles to find anyone to help him in the NHS overcome the trauma of what happened.

He added: “It’s a disgrace. There are so many lads in the same boat. They can’t get the help or counselling they require because this is historic and it is so long ago. I have been diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder. It happened 28 years ago, but it is still real for me today – the flashbacks, the names, what happened in Slade’s room.

“It all brings on anxiety attacks, shaking, fear. It automatically takes me back to when I was 10 years old. For 20-odd years I have had this fight or flight response. Seeing something that hurts or upsets me, I think ‘I have got to get away from that’.

“Making sure that anything that happened to me cannot happen to my children consumes my mind.

“Now, I understand after all these years what has happened. Being free in myself is to be outside, away from people and away from life. Put me in a field where there are no people and I could sit there for days because I am completely at peace. The only time I am completely at peace is when I’m alone.”

Whether he will ever achieve peace of mind is an unfathomable riddle for Mr Parker.

He said: “It’s a question I can’t answer. More and more information is coming out. It leaves me with only one option and that is to continue. But it’s going to be a long journey.

“Those that came forward after Slade’s sentencing, those that are to come forward, they need somebody to help them. At this stage I have got to continue and focus on what they need and get them through it until someone else steps into the breach.

“Don’t get me wrong; I’m not a martyr. I’m just a person. There are times when I wish somebody would step in and say ‘ you have done enough’.

“All I can do is keep pushing and give them the strength and courage to carry on.

“The school motto was ‘To be of good courage’. I see a lot of guys who have got the courage, but they just need somebody to stand there and say ‘let’s do this lads – keep going, don’t give up. If you give up you will kick yourselves’.”