Could be my des res

IT'S the end of an era here in Felixstowe with the Bartlet finally closing. I wonder what they are going to do with it? With imposing sea views, I wonder if the people of Felixstowe might like to donate it to me - though I think that unlikely - and I could turn it into a gorgeous and huge house complete with library, music room, staff quarters, drawing room, billiard room and ballroom - not that I've thought about it at all.

IT'S the end of an era here in Felixstowe with the Bartlet finally closing.

I wonder what they are going to do with it?

With imposing sea views, I wonder if the people of Felixstowe might like to donate it to me - though I think that unlikely - and I could turn it into a gorgeous and huge house complete with library, music room, staff quarters, drawing room, billiard room and ballroom - not that I've thought about it at all.

If it doesn't come my way, and the heating bill would be crippling anyway, I have made a few more suggestions that might like to be considered.

A nice hotel - it might be a bit like that scary film The Shining but handy for me nonetheless.

A new and massive Evening Star satellite office for me and my colleague Richard.

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A huge bar and restaurant with lovely views - somewhere to take and be spotted by celebrity watchers.

I suspect it will be turned into luxury flats, which, to be honest is not something England is really short of at the moment, though favoured by celebrities.

As part of my hectic and somewhat fashionable lifestyle I hitched up the horses and headed west to Luton for a lunch with the great and good of East Anglian journalism.

Have you ever been? Luton's not a place I'm in a huge hurry to return to, to be honest - it seems a bit depressing and far too many roundabouts.

Anyway, at the EDF Energy East of England media awards ceremony, which included sausage and mash and four glasses of red wine before a rhubarb crumble and custard with a cup of coffee, I was almost awfully upset not to win columnist of the year.

The hotly-coveted accolade went to a friend of mine Lynne, who also lives in Ipswich and, like me, enjoys the theatre so I'm not too bitter - honestly.

Obviously the awards ceremony lost all credibility the moment I wasn't even nominated, not that I'm bothered even a tiny bit, really. Hmmph.

Such a shame as I am brilliant, as I'm sure you'd agree, and it's just plain odd no other journalists and industry people share the same view - isn't it?

Thankfully my colleagues at the Evening Star have been most supportive with more than one of them independently advising me that if there was a "who do you think you are? James Marston?" category" I would be certain to win.

How kind.

IT'S started.

The wedding invitations for 2008 are arriving on my doormat.

I've got two to go to so far - both very old friends which should be lots of fun.

And with the first in April, as my mother said to me the other day over a sumptuous luncheon in a Felixstowe hostelry at the weekend, "well you've got time to lose some weight".

Apparently I've got to stop eating cheese scones - how distressing.

So as it sit in my Felixstowe salon, with sea views distant, writing this week's column, I'm thinking to myself I better go for a walk to tone up and slim down - it's a shame it's so cold or I would - honest.

Has anyone heard from my friend the Duchess of Cornwall?

She seems very quiet at the moment, perhaps she's having a well-deserved break from all those duties.

Camilla hasn't phoned, or written or even texted me. She must have stuff on.

Now it's not too late to download my downloadable calendar from the Evening Star website.

A marvellous gift at any time of the year, I feature on every month and it's totally free. Having my celebrity boat race staring back at you month after month is a must-have for your kitchen wall.

It even includes Camilla's birthday so none of us forget.

Do you have one of these Facebook accounts on the internet?

I do but the novelty has worn off.

For a while it was mildly interesting to see what people you once knew were up to without talking to them but now, rather like reality television, it's something I'm bored of.

And to be honest, despite trying, I have yet to secure a celebrity friend.

So I'm closing mine down. It's too much bother and I'm far too wrapped up in myself to look at other people anyway.

In a rather Greta Garbo twist, I'm also thinking of getting rid of my mobile phone. Mankind has survived millennia without being contactable at all times and I'm not sure these phones are conducive to improving one's quality of life.

Do you live without a mobile? Can it be done? Drop me a line.

Oh what a circus oh what a show!

I note with amusement that Rio De Janeiro is in party mode as the carnival takes to the streets. It looks like a lot of fun and the Brazilians certainly know how to enjoy themselves don't they?

What an amazing costume, all those feathers, and what terrifying teeth.