ET phone home? Get a life!

HERE on the newspaper we love UFO stories.

Matthew Tacket

HERE on the newspaper we love UFO stories.

Readers love them, and you should see what the mention of UFO does to any story we put on our website!

But that doesn't alter the fact that they're all a load of absolute codswallop, swallowed only by the most gullible of readers.

Don't get me wrong, I've got nothing against stories about little green men.

I loved ET and Star Trek television series and films have kept me entertained for the best part of four decades now.

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But I'm well aware they are science fiction and about as far removed from reality as are Noddy and Big Ears!

While it is quite possible that somewhere in the vast expanses of the universe there may be other planets with life, no one from any of them has ever come anywhere near visiting the earth.

The distances involved are far too far for any organic matter to make the journey - and all UFO sightings must have a terrestrial explanation.

Are we supposed to think it's coincidence that the Rendlesham UFO incident happened at Christmas when loads of USAF personnel from Bentwaters and Woodbridge would have been wafting from one party to another?

And the Roswell incident that people whisper about in hushed voices happened at the height of the Cold War at a time of mounting paranoia about Reds under the Bed in the US.

With the military carrying out many strange experiments, isn't the obvious conclusion that anything mysterious that happened there had more to do with finding new ways of killing red men in Russia than making contact with little green men from Alpha Centauri?

But the latest flurry of UFO speculation is the daftest of them all.

These strange red lights that appeared in the sky in the early hours of New Year's Day were so obviously Chinese Lanterns that I am astonished anyone wants to make a fool of themselves by claiming they could be UFOs!

Frankly anyone who thinks these came from another planet really ought to examine just how many glasses of champagne they had had to celebrate the New Year!

I heard from one person who said it could not have been a lantern because the red light hung in the sky for a few minutes before moving steadily away.

That's what the wind does! It blows at different strength at different heights - I didn't study O-level geography, but I know that!

So to all you UFO watchers I have a blunt message - get a life and don't talk such utter rubbish!