Find space, park car, open door, get out

SWITCH off engine once in position. Do not attempt to sell goods. And, whatever you do, do not attempt to wash or service your vehicle.Thought car parking was a simple-process? Think again.

SWITCH off engine once in position. Do not attempt to sell goods. And, whatever you do, do not attempt to wash or service your vehicle.

Thought car parking was a simple-process? Think again.

The above rules are taken from a detailed document produced for users of Martlesham's park and ride, and are merely a selection of the step-by-step procedures users are expected to follow.

The rules have been met with criticism from residents and the parish council, who have branded them a waste of money and "petty".

Bob Dunnett, of Main Road, said: "How long did it take someone to sit down and create this?

"I understand you have to have rules and regulations regarding car-parking but this epitomises the attitude of councillors who seem to like wasting our money.

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"I'm very concerned about how much it costs to produce a document like this.

"It would be interesting to see how many of these have been printed and how many are just laying stashed away somewhere."

Highlights of the document include a clause that tells people how to use a parking space.

The regulations state: "The driver of a motor vehicle using a parking place shall stop the engine as soon as the vehicle is in position in the parking place, and shall not start the engine except when about to change the position of the vehicle in or to depart from the parking place."

Other clauses prohibit park and ride users from selling goods from the back of the car, or offering their "skill or services" for hire.

They are also banned from servicing or washing their vehicle, or sleeping, camping or cooking on the site.

Mr Dunnett joked: "I'm very glad they've introduced these regulations. If I didn't know better I may have gone into a parking space and left my engine running when I got out and goodness knows what might have happened."

"As for the other points, I would have thought the council would be rather pleased for someone to use the area for selling goods. It doesn't get used for much else."

Lynn Lodge, Martlesham parish clerk, said: "The regulations are certainly very comprehensive.

"It seems a little petty really, but now that they have been introduced, one would hope people are given a copy of this so they can be sure they know how to park properly."

A spokesman for the county council said: "It is a statutory document, called a parking order which will be attached to any public space used for parking.

"They go to the parish council for information and are just there to cover any legal eventuality."

More rules Martlesham's drivers should be aware of when travelling abroad:

In New South Wales, Australia, it is legal to relieve yourself in public only if you do it next the rear left tyre.

In Oklahoma, USA, it is forbidden to keep tissues in the back your car.

Anyone planning to use a park and ride bus in Seattle should beware - goldfish can only ride the city buses in bowls if they keep still.

In Alabama, USA, it is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle.

It is illegal to drive without windshield wipers in Texas, USA. You don't need a windscreen, but you must have the wipers.

In a rural county like Suffolk, the council might like to look at rules set up by the Farmers Anti-Automobile Society in Pennsylvania.

- In the event that a horse refuses to pass a car on the road, the owner must take his car apart and conceal the parts in the bushes.

- If a driver sees a team of horses, he is to pull to one side of the road and cover his machine with a blanket or dust cover that has been painted to blend into the scenery.

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