Funny landlord's despair at vandals

A FELIXSTOWE pub which is well-known for the humorous messages on its outside notice board has stopped the daily jokes - after vandals smashed up the sign.

Richard Cornwell

A FELIXSTOWE pub which is well-known for the humorous messages on its outside notice board has stopped the daily jokes - after vandals smashed up the sign.

Landlord Patrick Wroe said the thugs' behaviour was no laughing matter and people in the area would be deprived of their daily “smileys” and “Swifties” written on the A-board for the forseeable future.

“Judging by the number of comments I receive from customers and non-customers alike, this board give a lot of people pleasure,” said Mr Wroe, landlord of the Half Moon in Walton High Street and an Evening Star columnist.


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“At 3.15am on Tuesday three very noisy individuals, presumably drunk members of the low life louts, thought it would be a good idea to pick up my sign and break it by smashing it onto the ground.

“What fun that must have been - what a good time they must have had, waking up the residents of Walton including my very young grandson and breaking my sign.

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“This sort of behaviour of course is unacceptable at any time, but on a Monday night one wonders where they had been until that time of the morning to get into such a state.”

The A-board has been a feature of the pub's forecourt for many years.

Mr Wroe started it after a prolonged bout of roadworks with the message “Last pub before the traffic lights”.

He regularly changed the funny messages and then started displaying 'Swifties', short cryptic statements with a pun as the answer -originating from the late 1920s from the Tom Swift series of cartoons written by the American, Edward Stratemeyer.

Do you enjoy Patrick's smileys and Swifties? What do you think of the vandals' actions? Write to Your Letters, Evening Star, 30 Lower Brook Street, Ipswich, IP4 1AN, or e-mail eveningstarletters@eveningstar.co.uk

WE ARE AMUSED! Some of Patrick's Swifties

“I have had my left auricle and right ventricle taken away,” said Patrick half heartedly.

“I fought alongside Geronimo,” said Patrick bravely.

“Si Si Si, said the girl with the Spanish eyes”.

“This is not home made soup,” Patrick said cannily.

“I am near the Isle of Wight,” Patrick said insolently.

“I have a split personality,” said Patrick being frank.

“I don't see the point in sewing, said Patrick needlessly”,

“I am losing my hair,” Patrick bawled.

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