FOR six months Nicki Durbin has spent every waking moment with just one thought - where is my son?Today, as the six month anniversary looms of 19-year-old Luke's disappearance she has renewed her appeal for information as to his whereabouts.

FOR six months Nicki Durbin has spent every waking moment with just one thought - where is my son?

Today, as the six month anniversary looms of 19-year-old Luke's disappearance she has renewed her appeal for information as to his whereabouts.

Speaking from her home in Coronation Avenue, Hollesley, Nicki Durbin said she missed Luke as much today as when he went missing on May 12 and said she would struggle to face Christmas and Luke's birthday without him.

She said: “I think whatever I do for Luke's birthday (on December 4) it is going to be awful. Like most mums if my children are going out for their birthdays I insist I see them for some part of that day.

“There has never been a birthday when I haven't seen them.”

Mrs Durbin said she is currently living a double life, trying to carry on for the sake of her 17-year-old daughter Alicia but always having Luke at the forefront of her mind.

She added: “I have to keep functioning because I still have my daughter here and I have a quest to find my son. I have to stay composed and go on with the functions of life like sweeping the floor and cleaning the sink and going shopping, but a part of me wants to grab people and scream at them and say 'do you know where my son is?'

“You have to try to stay grounded and level because if you let the other side come through I don't know if you could get back up again.”

The 37-year-old has been campaigning tirelessly to try to find Luke since his disappearance on May 12.

She has appeared on BBC3 series Runaways, given interviews on Radio 5, appeared on GMTV and been interviewed by several national newspapers.

To mark the 98th day of her son's disappearance she organised a walk on his last known route from Zest nightclub to the Buttermarket bus station where CCTV last picked him up about 4am.

At the moment, she cannot face another high-profile event to mark the half-year date of his disappearance and, for her, time is no healer.

She added: “When I wake up I think is today the day I might get a call and he might come home or I might get the knock on the door from the police that I don't want?

“I haven't had to identify any bodies but there is a thing set up called a trigger plan and, if a body is found of a male and it is unidentified, I am told before the media.

“It is such a weird feeling. They say they are 99 per cent certain it is not Luke and I say 'how do you know' they say the height or something and then relief kicks in. Then you think it might be someone else's child. It makes sense as a mum but then there is the compassion of human nature and it just feels awful to be relieved. You don't want it to be anyone's child or dad or brother or cousin.”

Mrs Durbin said she still has no idea what has happened to Luke and urged him, or anyone who knows where he is, to get in touch.

She added: “I don't care what Luke has or hasn't done. I just want Luke to tell me that he is OK and he is safe. As a parent you love your child unconditionally. I just want to know that Luke is out there, I just want a phone call.”

Do you have a message for the Durbin family? Write to: Your Letters, Evening Star, 30 Lower Brook Street, Ipswich, IP4 1AN or e-mail: eveningstarletters@eveningstar.co.uk

Weblinks: www.findluke.com; www.eveningstar.co.uk/content/eveningstar/lukedurbin

PANEL + pic of Lisa giving a poster to a shop.

Mrs Durbin has also sent her support to Kerry Nicol, whose 19-year-old daughter Tania went missing on October 30.

Tania, of Woolverstone Close, Ipswich is thought to have been heading into town on the night of her disappearance and had been working as a prostitute.

Mrs Durbin added: “My heart just goes out to her it really does. The police called me on Tuesday to let me know she was still missing but said there was no connection with Luke other than that they are both from Ipswich. I feel so sorry for the girl's mum.”

Police are becoming increasingly concerned about Tania's disappearance. The Evening Star has launched a poster appeal which will stretch across the town and call on anyone with even the smallest piece of information to do their bit.

CCTV has been viewed of buses travelling into Ipswich after it was believed Tania took a bus into the town centre on the night she disappeared, but no sign of her could be found.