Patrons offer good food to Archer
DESPITE being dubbed 'Holiday Bay' by many, it appears the menu at Hollesley Bay prison has not found favour with Jeffrey Archer's.But purveyors of good food in Suffolk today reassured the livid Lord there is plenty of culinary delights to be had in Suffolk for even the most discerning palate.
DESPITE being dubbed 'Holiday Bay' by many, it appears the menu at Hollesley Bay prison has not found favour with Jeffrey Archer's.
But purveyors of good food in Suffolk today reassured the livid Lord there is plenty of culinary delights to be had in the county for even the most discerning palate.
Indeed one entrepreneur has even used Archer's arrival in the county to cheekily put a spoof testimonial to his business outside his premises.
Patrick Hockley, manager of The Woodbridge Fine Food Company, on New Street, has put a billboard outside his shop.
"The pie was fantastic but I couldn't find the file, by J. Archer, HMP Holiday Bay," it eulogises.
Mr Hockley said they would happily serve Archer with something to meet his high standards.
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He said: "We could get him anything he wanted; smoked salmon, caviar, wild sea bass, oysters. I am sure it would be plenty good enough for him."
Procter's Speciality Sausages, in The Walk, Ipswich, who boast 20 varieties of sausage, have promised that they would happily put together a little packed lunch for him.
Shop assistant Trudy Walker said: "Our sausages are of very high quality and have a very high meat content. I am sure we could find something for him.
"As long as he has got the money we will serve him. All of our sausages are made in Suffolk, although we do Italian, German and South African ones as well."
Archer brought scorn on himself after stomping his feet and throwing his first meal of a sausage roll and baked potato into the bin.
Then after breakfasting on cereal and milk on Friday he spurned his lunchtime meal this time turning his nose up and walking away.
These outbursts have led to Jeff being given a new tag – Lord 'I'm not eating this' Muck.
However yesterday Archer showed his delight at moving back to an open prison when he left his cell to walk down a public road.
The 62-year-old grinned and joked with two other inmates as he enjoyed a 10-minute morning stroll around Hollesley Bay prison.
Shortly before leaving the palm-fringed entrance to his wing, he had his hair trimmed by a fellow inmate.
Archer is expected to start work this week in the Hollesley Bay Prison library, but his anticipated move from the Hoxon House wing to a first floor cell overlooking a lawn in the jail's Wilforde unit has been postponed until a cell becomes available.
An inmate at the prison said: "Archer looked quite stressed and angry when he arrived here, but he is more relaxed now.
"He is in quite high spirits and is wandering around grinning like a Cheshire cat. He is obviously pleased that he is back in an open prison."
Ten things the disgruntled lord might eat while in prison.
N Jaily babies
N Coco Slops
N Whine gums
N Stir fry
N Milky Bars
N Humble pie
N If you have an opinion, serious or otherwise, about Lord Archer moving into Hollesley Bay write in to Richard Brown, Evening Star Letters, 30 Lower Brook Street, Ipswich, IP4 1AN or e mail email@example.com.
The Evening Star has made a bid to brighten up the shamed author's life.
He moaned that when he first went to prison the only newspaper he could get hold of was The Sun.
So in case Archer is still lacking a little variety in his daily read we took him a copy of Britain's Evening Newspaper of the Year so he can keep up with the news and read all about the latest developments at Hollesley.