Pour myself a cup of ambition

TO my older fans I may not seem old, but despite my boyish looks I was 31 last week. It's a milestone in anyone's life, and now I can confidently kiss goodbye to my 20s - I had denied they had ended for the last year - and embrace a new life as I enter my fourth decade.

TO my older fans I may not seem old, but despite my boyish looks I was 31 last week.

It's a milestone in anyone's life, and now I can confidently kiss goodbye to my 20s - I had denied they had ended for the last year - and embrace a new life as I enter my fourth decade.

As my 92-year-old grandmother says, 'I don't feel old much older and I'm not ready to die yet' but I'm afraid I know deep down I shall never go on a Club18-30 holiday, wear a thong at a foam party and get arrested for too much alcopops ever again.

I'll blink and I'll be on a Saga holiday before I know it.

So all in all, dear readers, it was a strange day. My mood had lifted by a gin and tonic luncheon and a selection of well wishes from across the globe.

As messages of congratulations flooded in from my chums in the world of celebrity, I was much cheered, and I even invited Hello! magazine up to Ipswich for a photo shoot to mark the occasion - it was such a shame they were so busy.

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Even my editor wished me well, kindly reminding me, repeatedly, that 'middle age isn't so bad' and during the morning I enjoyed a flurry of cards and gifts from select intimates.

Later in the day my sister Claire presented me with a chocolate cake, a bottle of Harvey's Bristol Cream and a DVD entitled Take The Lead which is all about ballroom dancing and stars James Marston look-a-like Antonio Banderas. So I've something to look forward to there.

Now, at my age, and I'm sure you'll agree, birthdays don't hold quite the same fascination that they once did. My body, still remarkably trim and buff, has yet to show any signs of advancing age but I know there is nothing I can do to stop the sand in the hour glass slipping away.

So dear readers I have decided to mark the occasion by noting down my ambitions I still have left before I die. Already a celebrity pin up, you might think there's not much left for me to fulfil yet there are indeed a few things I have yet to achieve.

Visit the Gordon's Gin factory and inhale the fumes.

Go to Georgia and to California and sip champagne on a yacht.

Turn down Celebrity Love Island - that's just for D-listers.

Eat my body weight in chocolate digestives.

Play the romantic lead with the Ipswich terribly Operatic and ever increasingly Dramatic Society.

Redecorate my little Ipswich sitting room in baroque style.

Receive a valentine's card from Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall.

Receive a valentine's card.

Join a gym and go more than once a lifetime.

Wear a pair of hotpants and look good in them.

To clean diamonds, rubies, sapphires, and emeralds, simply soak the gems in Canada Dry.

Not smoking isn't going well.

I think my problem is the fear that smoking will leave me bereft in a social situation. What will I do without my friendly crutch?

Wise Adrian - the Evening Star bigwig who is full of advice - made a kind suggestion.

He said: “Sometimes the biggest challenge is what to do with your hands instead of smoking. A man of your persona could carry off a string of worry beads, a hobby of macramé or even an elaborate fan.”

I'm not sure what he means by that, but he assures me his step father who went from 60-a-day to none overnight is now a compulsive beer mat model maker.

Perhaps giving up smoking will open up a whole new world of arts and crafts or is giving up the lesser of two evils?

The other big news this week, dear fans, is of course Kate Boxell's wedding. Finally, after months of preparations and weeks of build up the stunning Evening Star reporter and fellow columnist tied the knot.

I was there, but you'll have to see tomorrow's paper for the pictures and full report.

Tempted though I was, I daren't scoop her on her big day.

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