Strictly snub is a crying shame

WASN'T Strictly Come Dancing just totally fabulous?I have to say, dear readers, I am absolutely gripped already.

James Marston

WASN'T Strictly Come Dancing just totally fabulous?

I have to say, dear readers, I am absolutely gripped already.

Such a shame they didn't ask me - perhaps , and it's hard to believe I know, I'm just not famous enough.

There's no awful coarse-of-mouth comedian, there's no crude presenter, you can watch it with your parents and your children.

Indeed Strictly, as it has apparently now become known, is all clean fun though that supple girl in that catsuit who danced with the GMTV presenter Andrew was pretty memorable, I must say.

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Anyway I'm definitely on the side of fellow journalist John Sergeant.

From the comfort of my armchair in my elegant Felixstowe salon with sea views (distant), I suspect that he may not quite make the final.

Nevertheless, he's clearly such a gentleman, and one of a generation that is sadly disappearing, that I want him to keep on going.

Like me he seems very light on his feet for a big man and is brave enough to wear sequins in public on a Saturday night.

He also looks endearingly delighted with and somewhat amazed by the rather stunning blonde lady with whom he's partnered.

I thought he danced very elegantly and he's, of course, utterly charming.

Indeed, I've been trying my hand at ballet just recently with Ipswich dance guru Assis Carreiro.

Enjoying a nose round the new Dance East studio complex on Ipswich Waterfront, known as the Dance House, my plain-speaking photographer friend Lucy who also enjoys dancing, caught the moment Assis told me I had potential on a large metal bar.

"Not bad," she said as I strained my thigh to impress.

It was good enough for me.

BRENDA, a friend of mine who like me enjoys things theatrical and lives in the Edwardian spa town of Felixstowe, dropped me a most amusing line the other day.

Referring to a number of issues I have approached through the medium of my weekly column in recent weeks, she wrote:

“Oh James!

You certainly know how to stir it! “TATOOS” I agree “BUY ONE GET ONE FREE” a sore point - I get to the checkout and am told that you can have another one free even though I don't want another one!

But the 'runner' has been sent to get it and I'm too much of a coward to refuse!

PLASTIC BAGS! I am a 'Bag Lady!' Not the flimsy, help yourself, float around the town sort but the bag for life sort. I am guaranteed to live forever! I have so many bags for life! Classy M&S, Co-op very sturdy, Tesco much the same, Sainsbury - colourful!

The winner, however has to be Tchibo. A very strong, bright, and long lasting bag. Julian Graves are also pretty good!

Does anyone know better?

Brenda.”

I'm not sure Brenda. If you've got something to say do drop me a line or an e-mail.

WELL my dear readers, the tantrums have started - mostly mine - the divas are getting stroppy - mostly the girls - and the time is drawing ever closer towards the latest production of the Ipswich most terribly Operatic and certainly Dramatic Society's latest production - Sounds Familiar - at Felixstowe's Spa Pavilion next month.

As you can imagine with a load of luvvies with theatrical aspirations there's all sorts of behind-the- scenes drama.

The costume lady Pam, a favourite of mine, is working overtime sewing things together in order to make me something that fits.

She said as she presented me with one of the largest pale blue cummerbunds I've ever seen: “Come over here James and try on this big jacket I've made for you. It's a work of art even if I say so myself. I've put a few panels in so it might just fit. We've scrapped the green waistcoats you'll be pleased to know.

“Here's some white gloves and have you got an electric blue bow tie?”

Such a garment had escaped my wardrobe thus far I informed her noting that whatever this show will be it won't be short of colour.

I'm breaking in some white pumps especially.

AS I try so very desperately and with limited success to move from the dim hinterlands of obscurity into the uplit green and pleasant pastures of lifelong fame it has been suggested to me that I initiate a new media award.

Though with no prize and little kudos, the JAMES MARSTON award for self-seeking publicity in the arena of self promotion is, I'm sure you'll agree, a most fitting tribute to wanna-be almost celebrity status.

Naturally I nominate myself me and me alone for this week's inaugural award.

In a statement issued by me as I don't have a publicist - yet - I said: “I have only myself to thank.”

But next week it could be you or someone you nominate - why not drop me a line with your suggestions.