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Fuller Flavour: My heart feels broken, with no doubt more horrible defeats on the horizon

PUBLISHED: 06:00 04 March 2019

Collin Quaner and Cole Skuse react after the German had missed a late chance.    Picture: Steve Waller    www.stephenwaller.com

Collin Quaner and Cole Skuse react after the German had missed a late chance. Picture: Steve Waller www.stephenwaller.com

© Copyright Stephen Waller

Karl Fuller is already looking forward to the summer without his weekends being ruined by football, as he reflects on another depressing afternoon at Portman Road

A disappointed looking Toto Nsiala reflects after the defeat by Reading.    Picture: Steve Waller    www.stephenwaller.comA disappointed looking Toto Nsiala reflects after the defeat by Reading. Picture: Steve Waller www.stephenwaller.com

For those that weren’t already sure, Saturday’s defeat against Reading has pretty much sealed our fate as far as relegation is concerned.

It’s only a matter of time before that little ‘R’ will appear next to our name in the league table.

Sure, it’s mathematically possible to survive but anyone who thinks we’ll get enough wins out of some very difficult fixtures remaining is far more optimistic than I am.

With just three wins all season, the realist within me struggles to see now where we’ll gain any of perhaps the seven more required to survive.

I’m not sure if I’m more angry than I am disappointed with how matters panned out against the Royals.

Gwion Edwards wheels away as the ball hits the back of the net to level the score at 1-1.    Picture: Steve Waller    www.stephenwaller.comGwion Edwards wheels away as the ball hits the back of the net to level the score at 1-1. Picture: Steve Waller www.stephenwaller.com

I fully expected a full-blooded effort from the first whistle and a display where we would put everything on the line in an attempt to take all three points in what was a must-win game.

I at least expected the standard set in recent home games against Derby and Stoke and my only real concern was where would the goals come from.

MORE: North Stander: Lowest point of my 52 years as a fan

A hopeful crowd of 23k deserved much better than what was ultimately dished up.

The first-half especially was lacklustre and was just not good enough.

Bartosz Bialkowski has words with Nelson Oliveira, after Reading's Norwich City loanee had thrown himself down in the area looking for a penalty. He picked up a yellow card for his efforts then scored four minutes later.    Picture: Steve Waller    www.stephenwaller.comBartosz Bialkowski has words with Nelson Oliveira, after Reading's Norwich City loanee had thrown himself down in the area looking for a penalty. He picked up a yellow card for his efforts then scored four minutes later. Picture: Steve Waller www.stephenwaller.com

The second period was marginally better but overall, we fell well short of the aforementioned standards and never looked like winning at all.

And, not for the first time in recent years, big crowd syndrome hit us again and those who turned out as a less-than-frequent spectator will not have been convinced to return anytime soon – maybe again.

My mind has been set on relegation for a few months now, but my heart of course always hoped for different but even that now feels broken and it just left a feeling of deflation for the remainder of the weekend.

Now we’ve gotten to this stage, I really fear how the next two months of the season will drift.

There could be some horrible defeats on the horizon and our open wounds will be licked even further.

Town manager Paul Lambert sits in the directors box next to general manager of football operations Lee O�Neill.    Picture: Steve Waller    www.stephenwaller.comTown manager Paul Lambert sits in the directors box next to general manager of football operations Lee O�Neill. Picture: Steve Waller www.stephenwaller.com

MORE: Fans react to defeat to Reading and impending relegation

I’m looking forward to the first weekend in the close season in the knowledge that I’ll have nigh on three months without my weekends being ruined by Football. Jeez…. what a depressive state of affairs.

Last Tuesday evening was a more enjoyable ITFC occasion, if not one where there was plenty to reflect upon.

I attended the Kevin Beattie tribute night at the Royal Hotel in my home town of Clacton-on-Sea.

The event was organised by Town fan Malcolm Thompson and what a brilliant night it turned out to be.

Cole Skuse, Luke Chambers and Teddy Bishop pictured following Ipswich Town's 2-1 home defeat to Reading Photo: Steve WallerCole Skuse, Luke Chambers and Teddy Bishop pictured following Ipswich Town's 2-1 home defeat to Reading Photo: Steve Waller

I know Malcolm was a little cautious as to how the evening would go given that it was being held away from Ipswich. But he had no worries on that score. Clacton has a large contingent of Ipswich fans, many of whom over the years, myself included, have belonged, or still do belong to the Clacton branch of ITFC supporters.

It was great to see many members past and present in attendance to support the event.

The evening was compered by Sky TV and former Anglia TV Sports man Stuart Jarrold who did an excellent job of keeping the night flowing as we were treated to stories about ‘The Beat’ by former Town greats Paul Mariner, Eric Gates and Brian Talbot.

MORE: Lambert’s thoughts on the defeat

Gates in particular was at his finest and should really have a career now as a stand-up comedian.

Matthew Pennington at full stretch as he tries to keep the ball in.    Picture: Steve Waller    www.stephenwaller.comMatthew Pennington at full stretch as he tries to keep the ball in. Picture: Steve Waller www.stephenwaller.com

Watching on with great interest, I looked at these three players and wondered how they must be feeling about today’s position the team finds itself in.

None of them I doubt could ever have imagined a time where they would eventually see us playing in the third tier of the game.

These were FA Cup or UEFA Cup winners, they all played for England and while they talked many times about how ‘The Beat’ was the best, they were not too bad themselves.

I looked back and wondered where it’s all gone so badly wrong.

I’ve no idea how much was eventually raised for the Beattie family but without a doubt, the night was a huge success and Malcolm, I know you’ll be reading this, you should be very proud of your efforts mate.

Gwion Edwards celebrates scoring to level at 1-1.    Picture: Steve Waller    www.stephenwaller.comGwion Edwards celebrates scoring to level at 1-1. Picture: Steve Waller www.stephenwaller.com

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