Dawn French has been alive 30 million minutes. To celebrate, she’s hitting the road with her first solo live tour because she’s convinced it won’t be long before she is far too doolally to perform it.

The Queen of British comedy, award-winning actor and best-selling novelist will share the various lessons life has taught her and the things she knows for sure and how she has misguidedly spent her life trying to be a fully functioning female human.

It’s also worth coming, says the Vicar of Dibley star, if only to finally witness what size she actually is. Can we believe the stolen images of so many women’s magazines? What is the truth? Is she so unfeasibly large she can hardly live or does she sleep in a matchbox?

Marvel at how one woman can mercilessly murder so much chocolate and yet remain so curiously slim when 30 Million Minutes comes to the Ipswich Regent on Monday, September 22. Tickets are £20.75-£43 and on sale tomorrow by calling 01473 433100 or visiting www.ipswichregent.com

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