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Are these some of the worst films of all time?

PUBLISHED: 17:46 18 September 2018 | UPDATED: 17:46 18 September 2018

Howard the Duck © Studio / Produzent

Howard the Duck © Studio / Produzent

Archant

Do you agree with our list of some of the worst films ever made?

Fifty Shades of Grey © Universal Pictures SwitzerlandFifty Shades of Grey © Universal Pictures Switzerland

Last week, having been lured into the world of streamed telly, I found myself watching painstakingly realistic mockumentary, The Disaster Artist. James Franco produced, directed and starred in the bizarre, almost-too-crazy-to-be true tale of wannabe actor Gregg Sestero, who found himself the most unusual kinship in Tommy Wisseau – a strange chap of indeterminate age and nationality. Together they brought to the screen Tommy’s self-penned tale, The Room - so bad it was quite literally laughed out of theatres. It became the stuff of legends, achieving cult status, and as I watched the scenes unravel (including a Marlon Brando-esque screech from Franco as Tommy “you’re killing me Lisa”) I couldn’t quite believe it was real. The original was unforgivably bad. Think late night C movie crossed with wooden (excuse the pun) porno acting.

Tommy is smiling all the way to bank these days as The Room continues to delight film-goers across the world. And James Franco’s retelling was a hit with critics.

But it all got me thinking. What are the worst films I’ve ever seen? Here are just a few! Email me yours to charlotte.smith-jarvis@archant.co.uk

Purple Rain, 1984

Please don’t hurt me! Before I go on, I must say I love Prince. Let’s Go Crazy is my go-to drunken wedding song. But I watched this movie for the first time this year and I thought it was pants. Cardboard acting. Thinly strung plot. And kissing and romance scenes so cringeworthy I was reaching for the sick bucket. Let’s face it, the whole thing was just a vehicle for the artist’s music and was ‘of its time’ but I thought it was terrible. The Purple Rain album however- one of the best of all time.

Enemy, 2013

This year was a game of two halves for director Denis Villeneuve. His tense, at times visceral, thriller Prisoners was a masterpiece that largely went under the radar despite showing Hugh Jackman, Paul Dano and Jake Gyllenhaal at their best. On the flipside there was this dud. A tale (also featuring Gyllenhaal) about a professor who becomes obsessed with the idea he has a doppelganger. The tension builds beautifully but it falls flat at the jolting, wacky ending. I still don’t know what it was all about. Suggestions on a postcard please…

Howard the Duck, 1986

Alien duck gets catapulted in armchair across the universe to Earth and must find his way back home. Need I say more? Not only did I find Howard quite terrifying, but there is really no suspending your disbelief when it comes to this plotline. I thought it was utter rubbish.

All About Steve, 2009

Sandra Bullock, you’re killing me here! The Blindside actress plays the stooge in this film but it’s just not ‘her’. The movie follows socially inept crossword writer Mary (who talk to her hamster might I add) following TV cameraman (Bradley Cooper) across the States in a bid for his affections. I think Bullock will look back on this as one of the biggest mistakes of her career. Thankfully it wasn’t the last we were to see of her on the silver screen.

And our survey says

Katie Heslop: My worst film of all time is the second Fifty Shades of Grey film. My friends and I have a tradition of getting the films out on DVD and laughing at them. This one was so ridiculous. There’s a really random helicopter crash and a super cheesy ending. The writing is mediocre and the whole thing is embarrassing.

Lynne Mortimer: Most films I like but even I knew Striptease (1996) was a lemon. It starred Demi Moore as sacked FBI agent Erin. She needs to find work and takes a job as a stripper/pole dancer at the Eager Beaver Club (I didn’t make that up). Film writer Daniel P Franklin called it ‘the worst film ever made’ and it had seven Golden Raspberry nominations, winning six!

Daniel Moxon: Batman and Robin, Catwoman and Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen all spring to mind, but I think for me, After Earth with Will and Jaden Smith is the worst. I’ve never actually felt angry after watching a film other than when I watched this particular piece of drivel.

Nick Richards: I’ve only walked out of a film once and it was this, Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines. I was a massive fan of Terminator 2, surely one of the best films of the early 90s? I thought this would be great. It wasn’t. I recall it was just the same plot, terrible dialogue and nothing of interest happened in the first hour. I soon terminated my own time at the cinema.

Arts and culture editor Andrew Clarke: I nominate Battlefield Earth: A Saga of the Year 3000 starring John Travolta and Forest Whitaker. It was directed by British-born Roger Christian, who had won an Oscar for his work as a set decorator on the original Star Wars before moving onto Alien and The Life of Brian. This sci-fi nonsense looked like a Travolta vanity project rather than a proper movie designed to entertain audiences. Based on a book by Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard, the plot baffled and bemused the few people who saw it (mostly critics) and all that we could report is that it involved the Earth being enslaved by gold-hungry aliens called Psychlos and plucky humanity then set about staging a revolt. Never has two hours felt so much like eight.

The worst of 2018

If you fancy torturing yourself why not watch one of this year’s Razzie winners?

Worst Picture: The Emoji Movie

Worst Actress: Tyler Perry in Boo 2

Worst Actor: Tom Cruise in The Mummy

Worst Supporting Actor: Mel Gibson in Daddy’s Home 2

Worst Supporting Actress: Kim Basinger in Fifty Shades Darker

Rotten Tomatoes says…

These are the top 10 films with a 0 rating on the popular review site.

Staying Alive

Jaw the Revenge

Police Academy 4

Mac and Me

Highlander 2: The Quickening

Return to the Blue Lagoon

Look Who’s Talking Now

A Low Down Dirty Shame

Wagons East

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