A Felixstowe funeral director has shared what it is truly like to work with death day after day – and how it can actually give you a whole new appreciation for life.
When David Button meets new people, he encounters a variety of reactions when he reveals what he does for a living.
“Sometimes people want to know virtually everything, while others will shy away from the subject altogether,” he said. “There never seems to be a middle ground.
“But inevitably, it will happen to us all, and we are all going to have to arrange a funeral at some point as well.”
Mr Button has been a funeral director for 14 years, and has been running his own funeral home for eight.
Working with death every day, he said, is not depressing as some people might think.
“From that first moment, I loved it,” said Mr Button
“I remember the first funeral I worked with, at Ipswich Crematorium. I didn’t know what to expect.
“But it was nice, if that’s the right word. People kept coming over, and you had the responsibility of making sure that everybody was being seen to, that they knew where to go, and that they had a copy of the order of service.
“It was nice to have people speak to you nicely, to have that connection with people. It was something I knew I could do.”
- READ MORE: Tributes paid to Felixstowe fisherman Pete Brookes
- READ MORE: Remembering Capel St Mary's children's charity founder
Mr Button had worked a whole host of jobs, including serving in the army and driving buses before he “fell into” working in the world of funeral arranging 14 years ago.
In 2009, his mother-in-law was working for a national company which was looking for pallbearers, drivers of hearses and limousines, and ‘on-call’ staff members who would tend to people who passed away outside of working hours.
When there were sudden deaths in the Ipswich area, a funeral director would have the responsibility of going out to those deaths within the time limit of an hour.
“You could be going out to absolutely anything, and I did that for some time,” explained Mr Button.
He then got the opportunity to learn about the other aspects of arranging a funeral.
This included washing and dressing the deceased, learning how to apply their makeup, and ensuring that coffins were lined and fitted.
Over the years, Mr Button has learned how to support grieving people, who he often meets at one of the most difficult moments of their lives.
“You never take offence to anything,” he explained. “When somebody comes in, they can be very emotional, or perhaps very angry.
“They can sometimes speak to you rather directly, but it can be that they’re looking for someone to take the lead. That will be us.
“You have to adapt to each person.”
Building relationships with clients is essential, and Mr Button said that he and his team member Joanne will typically spend 45 hours working on each funeral service, ensuring that they have given the family’s loved one the most fitting service possible.
Ultimately, his job has taught him the value of life.
“Sometimes, you have someone come into your care the same age as you, or even a little younger,” he said.
“We all think we’ll make retirement and have time to do the things we want.
“But anything can happen at any time, whether it’s an illness, a heart attack or car accident. We are all guilty of this, but we need to try not to work ourselves too hard, to spend time with the children, and to find that work-life balance.
“There’s such a fine line between being happy and not, and being here and not.
“We’ve got to make the most of what we’ve got.”
Comments: Our rules
We want our comments to be a lively and valuable part of our community - a place where readers can debate and engage with the most important local issues. The ability to comment on our stories is a privilege, not a right, however, and that privilege may be withdrawn if it is abused or misused.
Please report any comments that break our rules.
Read the rules here