LOUSY liars are being detected all over Ipswich.Detector van crews have published the worst five excuses offered by TV licence dodgers across the town.

LOUSY liars are being detected all over Ipswich.

Detector van crews have published the worst five excuses offered by TV licence dodgers across the town.

And with lies like these it's no surprise they got picked up.

A crackdown last month saw 161 licence dodgers rumbled in Ipswich – and more detector van swoops are promised.

The worst five excuses offered to licensing officers in Ipswich this year were:

n"I'm not paying – I've got a marriage licence and that's no use to me, so why should I bother with one for the TV?"

n "You'll never get me in court, I'll pretend I'm insane and pretend to be a helicopter."

n "I am a direct descendent from royalty and do not need a licence because I have Crown Immunity."

n "You're from TV licensing? No I don't live here actually and that's not my son calling me mum from the lounge."

n "I don't need to pay for a colour licence – I promise you I always turn the colour down when I watch TV."

TV licensing spokeswoman Vanessa Wood said: "Our enquiry officers have heard every excuse under the sun – from the cheeky, to the crazy to the plain daft.

"But people should remember that our officers are experts at catching evaders, so no matter how good the excuse, they will have heard it all before.

"You simply won't get away with it.

"This year, with our brand new covert detector vans, evaders in Ipswich should be extra wary as it really is a case of now you see it, now you don't.

"By having the option of being able to remove the TV licensing logo, licence evaders won't know we're in the area unless we want them to.

"But we would always prefer people to buy a licence than risk a prosecution."

Licence dodgers face a fine of up to £1,000 if they get caught.

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www.tvlicensing.co.uk