I woke up on a cross-channel ferry on Monday morning after a weekend of food poisoning in France thanks, I suspect, to a dodgy oyster.

Dear readers, I couldn’t leave my hotel room, which was thankfully in a chateau and had a well appointed bathroom.

Anyway, once in Portsmouth feeling a little more human, I turned on the radio in my small blue car to catch up with the news as I made the journey to my small Felixstowe flat with sea views (distant).

Of course, it was all about the BBC reporting on itself again.

I began to think I might resign from my job in the hope that I get a year’s salary and endless publicity but in the end I decided to stay put feeling that here in the real world I’d be pretty unlikely to get my mortgage paid by the public purse even if my position became untenable.

But it is a strange world we live in isn’t it?

I don’t know about you but I am struggling to make sense of it.

Here are a few thoughts:

-No one dare admit Greece is bankrupt when it quite clearly is.

-Is bottled water just a clever con?

-Why do we keep being offered a choice of schools or doctors or hospitals when what we want is good doctors, schools and hospitals?

-Why is Abi Titmuss famous?

-Why is fuel sold in litres when we drive in miles at miles per hour and fuel efficiency is calculated in miles per gallon?

-Why is Felixstowe getting an ugly shelter? Why can’t the town have what it wants?

-What is quantitative easing – didn’t it used to be currency devaluation?

-How come rich people and corporations seem to pay no tax but if I didn’t pay my Council Tax I’d be put in the dock?

-What are credit cards not called debt cards?

-Why have I got three wheelie bins when I only need one?

-Why is it such a struggle to get a plastic bag from a shop nowadays?

-How come school exam results have got better and better over the last 20 years yet people are clearly more badly educated than they used to be?

The older I get the more I can’t understand the world in which I find myself and it’s a bit worrying.

Let me know your thoughts. Email me at james.marston@archant.co.uk